Contact

Leaving a note on my Appropedia talk page is one good way to contact me.

Otherwise you can leave a comment below, and if I’ve got things set up right, I’ll receive a note by email.

Responses

  1. Hello Chris,
    I’m writing here, responding to a comment you made (actually, it’s a response to a reply someone made to you) on ‘Crates and Barrel’ about the Dworkin article, on the post about the Kissing Sailor. I’m not sure if my comment will make it through there, but wanted to thank you for yours. I’m going to repost mine here, just to give you another perspective to think about re: this whole subject. It’s not really intended for this page here on your site, so please feel free to remove it once you’ve seen it. Hopefully you’ve “got things set up right” so that you get this e-mail.

    You appear to be a thinking individual, and I’m hoping that, if enough of you become informed and are provided better information, the thinking individuals of the world can be encouraged to bring BETTER thinking to all these inflammatory and ideological debates we seem to be having about – well pretty much everything these days.

    While I’m at it, I’ll include a link to an article that all right-thinking people need to be aware of, but I thought would be far too much to get past the ‘moderators’ at C&B. It puts a whole other perspective on any discussion of ‘rape culture’: http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2011/10/11/barbara-kay-women-are-not-always-the-gentler-sex/

    My comment on Crates & Barrel (currently waiting moderation) is as follows:
    =========================
    “Bull. Go take a gander around this website for awhile, and then come back and tell me if perhaps, just perhaps, Ms. Dworkin needs to get her head out of her ***.

    female-offenders . com/
    female-offenders . com/Safehouse/

    I’m speaking here as a woman raped by another woman. And I’m speaking FOR men I know who’ve been raped by women. If you think this is uncommon, you’d be mistaken. The only thing that’s uncommon is society’s willingness to speak about it. I’ll be pleasantly surprised if my comment actually gets (or remains) posted.

    “I can’t come here as a friend even though I might very much want to. What I would like to do is to scream: and in that scream I would have the screams of the raped, and the sobs of the battered; and even worse, in the center of that scream I would have the deafening sound of women’s silence, that silence into which we are born because we are women and in which most of us die.”

    Yeah. Seems people like Ms. Dworkin only ever seem to care about the screams emitted by victims they can relate to. The rest of us can just put a sock in it. You know, perhaps we should all start screaming. How about I start screaming MY pain at female rape victims of male assailants – who only ever seem to go on about their own pain, and appear to be narcissistically and wilfully blind to the pain of anyone else. And seem to be only too willing to overlook even the most extreme violence BY women, and yet all too willing to lament even the tiniest incidents of violence against women. Yeah, how about we have an honest talk about “the deafening sound of women’s silence” around the issue of sexual violence committed BY women.

    You wanna know what MY definition of ‘rape culture’ is? It’s one-sided, self-centred articles by the Andre Dworkin’s of the world who aid and abet MY rapist and my rape by taking up all the oxygen, and air-time, and outrage, and focus on their own victimization and denying ANY – not even the tiniest crumbs – for rape victims like me.”
    ===========================

    I think your reaction to the Dworkin article “10% offended, 90% nonsense” is spot on. It’s time for decent men and women to start supporting one another, and let the men and women who hate each other, and have no intention of changing their own opinions or behaviour, fight it out somewhere else out of the public spotlight.

    Thanks for being willing to speak up – using your real identify no less! – on a topic that seems to be driven by mobbing and hysteria. You are to be commended on your courage.

    • Thanks – and I’m sorry to hear about your experiences.

      My perspective is that yes, male assault of women is a major problem, but there’s no reason to focus specifically on male-to-female assault. There have been public service ads in Australia about domestic violence, saying how it’s not never okay for a man to assault a woman. How about we change that?: It’s never okay for anyone to assault anyone.

      I can have patience with Dworkin and the (thankfully few) feminists who take such extreme positions, because men tend to have more power, socially and physically, and of course power corrupts. The history of gender is largely the history of males suppressing women – which turns out to be bad for men as well as really bad for women. But we do need to move past this blinkered way of seeing things – it’s the dominant pattern but it’s definitely not the only pattern.

      I find that taking a patient approach, acknowledging the validity I see in the other’s viewpoint and trying really hard to be non-inflammatory give me the best results in these discussions. Hopefully there’ll some recognition there that using “rape culture” so broadly presses the wrong buttons, and doesn’t communicate the intended message.


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